Once every five years, something terrible happens: your driver’s license expires. If you’re one of those “responsible” people who does what they are supposed to when they are supposed to do it—AKA sheep—this is a mild inconvenience.

But I ain’t no sheep!

So… my license expired. Six weeks ago.

You can wallow in negativity or accept the legal lemons you’ve been given and make it a good thing. I didn’t “let” my license expire. I did so on purpose. Yeah!

This is my opportunity to reinvent myself, wear the cool-kid clothes for my 5-years-older picture, and present myself with the sort of confidence I rarely feel.

“Hello,” he says in a deep and smooth voice to the mirror, spoken slowly because people who talk slowly are confident. “I’m here… for a new license.” And now stare into their soul. No blinking.

I think I need a wig.

(Fine, if I’m going to be a sheep, I’m going to be cool. An elemental sheep! And give me earrings. Only cool people wear earrings.)

Wish me luck. :)

(Fool! Only boring non-elemental sheep need luck!)