I went to the eye doctor yesterday.

The doctor said that my left eye twitching is a sign of stress. Alas, we don’t agree on this. I think it’s a sign I’m becoming a villain. The first sign came rather early in life, in my twenties, when I lost my hair. This is just the next step toward infamy.

You know what villains do to those who don’t leave reviews, right? Well, I’ll let you marinate in speculation and fear for now.

I feel the need to buy a trenchcoat or replace a tooth with a golden one. Yes…

In more serious news, I’m excited to be getting glasses! They’ll be here in about two weeks and should help reduce my eye strain. Things are fine close up, but when I go on my daily walk, it’s uncomfortable trying to focus on anything further away.

What the doctor showed me was a night and day difference. Things were crisp! I like crisp. Crisp is good. I think this will also help reduce the mild headaches I get throughout the day.

Alright, now I need a cool villain-sounding departure saying…

“I have a world to destroy, and I’m already running late.”

/Spins quickly to let the trenchcoat flap and walks away/