I'm a Fudging Vampire!

Does That Mean I Sparkle?

FREE · 480 Pages · 129,000 Words
  • GameLit
  • Isekai Fantasy
  • Vampire
  • Comedy
I'm a Fudging Vampire! cover

Blurb

(The free book offer ends November 30th, 2022)

I’m a Fudging Vampire! is a standalone prequel.

This bookworm-to-badass story follows Sarah, Olindale’s first vampire, in an adventure that transcends heavens. It’s chock full of interesting game mechanics, laugh-out-loud situations, whacky characters, and mysteries.


Eight years before Dhane became an Arachnomancer, Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places: at the library.

But do not fret! This is perfectly normal.

What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil.

To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: that which lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly).

Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with the definition.

This is heaven! A wondrous, magical place full of the fantastical. But no amount of reading about adventurers in far-off lands could prepare her for . . . this.

Turns out, heaven has a return policy better than Costco. And souls are terribly expensive. If she doesn’t win the forthcoming challenges, she is to be flushed back to the Primordial Sea of Souls, back to the Cycle to eventually be reincarnated as whatever the RNG gods have in store for her: a slug, most likely.

I'm a Fudging Vampire! cover

Where to find it

Sample Chapters

  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6

Reviews

Finally, a book in the GameLit genre that satisfied all my desires in a complete, standalone book. A female main character who was easily relatable to and felt real, combined with a plot that grew and developed at a nice pace, sprinkled throughout with laugh-out-loud humor. Not just entertaining, but clever as well. Loved it, five stars.

— Kitania Kavey